An English Journal

The misfortunes and happinesses of me

A Lent Address

So….It’s a couple of days left ’til the end of term and already things that have happened in the few weeks since my last post have been rendered dusty, old, almost as if they’re past their sell date. I should definitely not have procrastinated and just wrote down all the stuff…But anyway, I guess I’ll just list out the things that I’ve done.

1. Eaten a flapjack for the first time: They are actually amazing…

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2. Sang at King’s College London for a choral festival: It was a very beautiful chapel…though it may have looked a little..I don’t know…Russian? It had a sort of communist feel about it and it had loads of red and stuff..

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3. Got wowed by Ben Aldren at his clarinet Leaver’s Recital here at school. He is amazing.

4. Played in Camerata at the Lent/Spring Music Concert, which was fun.

5. Explored the woods at school behind Swan Lake.

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 6. Celebrated my roomie’s birthday with the asians and the germans…hahahahah great combo.

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^Plus a Romanian

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7. Got into some roomie antics.

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8. Celebrated Red Nose Day as Pikachu. Do you know how seriously people take Red Nose Day here? Not only do people dress up, but they but they actually full on cosplay. It’s amazing. I think my favourite were the penguins and elephants on roller blades and scooters who just basically rolled everywhere, the gardeners, who just basically watered everything (including people), the hobos (who literally went around rolling trashbins, collecting things and picking food off people’s plates in the dining hall), the guys who went as people from MarioKart (they even threw banana peels at people and had stirngs of banana peels trailing along the back of their scooter), the protestors with Guy Fawkes masks with the most hilarious protest signs that only people here would get (this one guy set up his tent in the middle of the quad and the gardeners came and watered it and the hobos tried to steal it and climb into it with the protestor still in there), and lastly, the monks and this one guy who dressed up as the pope. It was HILARIOUS. The monks even knelt in a circle around the horse head statue in the middle of the quad and started chanting. And then of course, the gardeners came and watered them. Typical!

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9. Sang Elgar’s Dream of Gerontious at the Reading Town Hall with an orchestra. (ft. McDonalds – Haven’t had this in…I can’t even remember! Nothing beats fries and chicken nuggets.)

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10. Had my short story judged by the author of “Flip”, Martyn Bedford, and he like it so much that I won 3rd prize his short story competition. I know, I didn’t win but I literally had no intention of winning and spent 15 minutes editing a story I had written before so that it fit the theme of the competition (all students who studied English had to submit an entry) and mine was only 450 words long when everyone wrote around 1000, so honestly, I think I did quite well. I’ll try next time and then hopefully, win.

So yeah, I just realised…that’s 1/3 of my life at this school…gone…I’ve only got 2/3 before I graduate and head off to uni! That’s…insane…I honestly can’t believe it. Boarding school is definitely one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Til next time,

A

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A Nearly Accident

I nearly got run over by a car today!

Okay, maybe it wasn’t so dramatic as I just made it seem, but if the Mercedez-Benz driver hadn’t been a decent guy then I probably would have. I mean, yeah, I could well have. My cousin and I probably should have been looking at the traffic light, but we saw people walking across right in front of us so we just followed. Yeah, stupid move. Not happening again. But I can kind of see why some people just freeze in situations like that. I kind of did for a bit. Like I turned around to see the car and I don’t know what I was doing. I just sort of stood there admiring this car that was heading right towards me before running off to the other side. It was bizarre like my brain just stopped functioning, thinking there was no way that this car would hurt me. But it could have. 

Anyway, moving on, today is the very last day of the holidays! I only have about 3 and a half hours before I have to head back to the countryside all the back to school. Eurgh. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love school. However, once I get to school, it’s kind of just non-stop work and it’s hard to find some time to breathe sometimes. During the holidays, it’s just so nice to do things at your own pace and do whatever you want…It’s just nice, you know? School is just so quick paced and you have to stay on top of your work and it’s just busy. Not really stressful, just busy. Okay, just writing about school is making me feel a little uncomfortable. Let’s move on.

I watched Warm Bodies yesterday! I was looking forward to it so bad ever since I saw the trailer months ago and it definitely did not disappoint. Hey, you know the R and Julie thing? It’s only when my cousin pointed out during the balcony scene that R was like Romeo and that Julie was like Juliet that I figured that out! How could I not have seen that? Fantastic! But looks at Nicholas Hoult

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Look at him! His face and eyes are so perfect it’s actually unreal. Plus…I really do have a thing for dark hair, blue eyes. Ian Somerhalder anyone? 

But there was something about his un-dead zombie look. Call me weird, but I still found it kind of hot. Yep, I have issues. Luckily though, thanks to the good people of Tumblr, I know I am not alone in this opinion.

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I mean come on, what’s not to like? Nicholas Hoult is beautiful, ok. But here’s a normal photo just so you know that he’s not really a zombie and I have weird taste in guys.

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Who am I kidding? I have the best taste. Eurgh. School. I was kind of in a rush to leave it so when I get back, my room’s totally going to look like this:

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Okay! Back to procrastinating. It’s the last chance I’ll get! This is a very picture-y post so have fun looking at Nicholas Hoults’ face! (and eyes)

Until tomorrow, (Eurgh, Mondays)

A.

 

A Brilliant Production of The Phantom of the Opera

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For a while I considered titling this post “Will Young Gave Us A Standing Ovation” but thought you know what? No. That is not what made this performance good. It was everything else. Us, the chorus members, the ballet girls, the other roles and the main cast. We all really put our all out there and it paid off. Will Young is an alumnus of the school I go to. Yeah, you know the BRIT award singer, quite famous, but that is definitely not the reason why I’m proud.

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^Will

Of course, technically, there were a few things that could be improved like the chorus’ cue and a couple of the people in the main cast forgetting a few of their lines and such. But you know what, what with the brilliant job that the orchestra was doing catching up with whatever it was that the cast was doing and just going along with it was really brilliant. Not to mention that getting standing ovations feel brilliant.

Me, personally, more recently, I think it was in year 9 but it might have been year 8, I’ve developed a real love for the theatre and acting on stage. I just love acting as someone that I am not. It’s really challenging and interesting and dare I say it, fun, to develop characters and react in a way that you think the character would react, rather than the way you would react. It’s just really cool to embody someone else and it’s kind of therapeutic to be able to escape from reality for a little while and just be something you’re not. I’m not exactly an extrovert but neither am I an introvert but I guess I can be quiet at times and would never be classified as a “drama geek”, who are mostly noisy extrovert, but I find that some of the most unsuspecting people are brilliant because they just let themselves go and be someone else. And I don’t know, but with the lights, the atmosphere, the costumes and the silent presence of the audience lingering, heady in the air, it just feels good.

I’m not too sure if this entry makes any grammatical sense whatsoever and it certainly lacks lexical prowess but you know what? Who cares? We got a standing ovation and Will Young came to see us backstage. Let’s hope tomorrow’s production will be just as amazing.

Until tomorrow,

A.

PS: I wrote this on the 12th, but I published it today so you will be getting another post today about today. Makes sense? Of course.

An English Chinese New Year

Today has been quite the adventure. I don’t know, if you had talked to me last year and told me that today’s events would happen to me one day, I would have thought you were a little nuts because there’s no way my life could be this bizarre and in a way…kind of fun.

Okay, so first of all, it’s the year of the snake tomorrow! And normally if I wasn’t at boarding school, I’d be in Malaysia with my grandparents and aunt and eating amazing cookies and ice cream all hand made by my aunt as well as all the amazing chinese food that my grandmother would cook. Then, on Chinese New Year, the next day, my sister and I would always wake up to find red packets under out pillow that were given to by the Chinese New Year Dragon. Then, we would change and go bai nian, wish all our family a happy new year and then sit down for the most amazing breakfast that my aunt and grandmother would have prepared with of course, my favourite sweet quail egg soup. Then, the married couples, so my parents and my grandparents would proceed to give us hong bao, which is money packeted in red paper pockets mostly decorated with gold pictures or any kind of new year related photos on the front. Then, we would go to my grandmother’s holiday house to see all my other malaysian relatives, whom I see only once a year to wish them a happy new year and eat some lunch together and get some hong bao in the process.

Well, in England, this didn’t happen which made me a little sad because I’ve never, not for a single year in my life spent New Year’s alone. But then, all my best friends who are Chinese must have been feeling the same way too so we decided to have a Chinese New Year party by  ourselves and it was great.

But here’s where it gets interesting. After we agreed on the time and what to order and stuff, I went back to doing my chemistry Internal Assessment (You’ll understand what this is if you do IB) and I just didn’t know how to do something so what I did was text my friend, Harry for help. I really did try and figure it out myself but just ended up plotting everything against everything. So, he invited me to his House, the Talbot and he could help me. Okay, I’ve never been to the Talbot but I heard it’s the nicest house in the whole school but part of me was like, what if this is really awkward. But it shouldn’t be because guys come to our house all the time! So, when I really couldn’t figure out my chemistry, I decided to just suck it up and go.

So along the way he texted me directions and as I neared the house, I thought I was going to explode. It was so unfair! Looking up, I could see a towering manor with pillars on the outside, lights glimmering and as I walked past it, there were glass panels and in between the manors, one of them the Beresford House and the other the Talbot, was a mini dining hall, illuminated by lights that lined the edges of the glass panels. Then, I went into the snooker room, which had 3 keyboards and 1 piano, none of which were out of tune like the 1 at my House. Then, we sat down and chatted a little while doing some chemistry.

Then, guess who came in. None other than my maths teacher. I knew that he was the Housemaster of the Talbot but I didn’t expect him to stick his face into the snooker room. It was hilarious. I swear he looks shorter in sports kit. Anyway, on came some of the best banter. So, earlier before, Harry and I had agreed that if anyone asked us we were cousins. So, when Mr. White came in, I didn’t know it was him but when the room was still silent as it wouldn’t be if a normal guy had walked into the snooker room, I looked up and saw him trying to process the fact that I was there.

Then, he was like “What are you doing here?” and it took me a little longer than it should to formulate an answer in my head so he just went “Did you sign in?” and Harry, probably sensing my ineptitude to answering questions decided to answer for me and say “yes and she can be here. It’s the snooker room. It’s public.”. And at that point I just decided to say, mumbling, that I was his cousin. Because I’m smart like that.

And then, the most incredulous, surprised and then finally amused, expression crossed Mr. White’s face and he was like, “Really?” And I was like, “No, sir!” 

“What? It’s possible! Did you know each other before?”

“What in Hong Kong?”

“Yeah.”

No.”

Lucky you.”

“What, that I hadn’t met him before?”

“Yep.”

At which point Harry pipes in, going, “Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh sir?”

And I just started laughing. I have no idea why anyone reading this would be interested or find this just as amusing as me but yeah. It was great. And the Talbot rooms are huge, at least in relation to ours. And Mr. White is so much chiller than my house mistress. She’s kind of annoying and a bit too uptight and gossips a bit too much. God seriously help me if anyone from school finds this blog because I’m not very discreet with names but oh well. I’ll just go change my name or something on wordpress. Anyway, I wanted to stay at the Talbot forever!! It was so nice! But then, the time came for me to leave as food had arrived. So, unfortunately, I had to leave the nicest house ever and trudge back to Apsley.

But then, there were my friends waiting for me with Chinese food and I almost forgot about the Talbot. The guys made mango dessert:

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And it overall was a great night together

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Plus, I managed to finish my chemistry!

新年快樂!

Until tomorrow,

A.

PS: Check out my song of the day here. It’s a Chinese special 😉

House Singing

Tonight was crazy. As I sit here in my room slowly quashing my hunger with Krispy Kreme doughnuts, Organic Miso Soup, Sour Cherry Gummies, Toast and Champagne at 10:40pm in the night my mind reels slightly from the tumultuous state it was in just a couple of hours before. 

I don’t know if any of you have been to a boarding school that’s been around for a while, but especially when it comes to ones that have been converted from just all boy’s to a co-ed one, there are so many traditions that are simply passed down and even though people pass through and leave, those traditions remain. 

Unfortunately, one of those traditions is the constant jeering of my house. My House, was the first house to accept girls into the college and jeers like “Who invited you” or just general booing and hissing and calling out in general happened throughout the night. But you know what in some ways it was their way of showing respect. We stuck it out as girls as we just did what we had to do and got 5th place out of 17 which although wasn’t desirable, it was pretty good. And you know, when asked what houses they most wanted to beat, it was always my house. There was always the sort of stigma that we were the best and although it’s slightly masochistic, that’s it, I guess. It’s just one of those things. And when it came to the end, everyone was cheering. It was great. Kind of like the Slytherins you know? Everyone doesn’t like them much and they are kind of the outsiders most of the time but when it came down to it, so many Slytherins stayed and fought for Hogwarts because no matter what, they were part of one school just like we are part of the same school and we all loved each other really.

Okay, I am dead tired so I’m going to leave you with a couple of photos.

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That’s my very cluttered desk which I returned to and that moustache cup has my miso soup :3

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And here’s me with lots of eyeliner enjoying that amazing organic miso soup.

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And lastly, are these amazing cupcakes that I WISH I could be eating right now – plus this post has a slight Harry Potter theme to it.

Until tomorrow,

A.

PS: Catch my song of the day here. Today’s is the song my house sang for the competition this night.

 

Light A Candle

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday!

I’ve got a pretty good reason why though. My wedesndays sometimes drive me insane. They’re so hectic! First of all, 

Lessons till 2:15

2:30 – 3:30: Community and Service

3:30 – 4:15: Free Time, which sounds like a lot but don’t be fooled. It takes about 10 minutes to walk back to House and then I have to watch some TV, tidy my room and then change.

4:30 – 5:50: Orchestra + Camerata (string group ie. violins, cellos, double basses)

6:00 – 7:00: Chapel Choir

7:00 – 7:30: Dinner

7:30 – 9:00: Phantom Of the Opera Rehearsals (By the way, this is going to be amazing and I love Patrick’s (the guy who plays Raoul) voice. It’s actually so ridiculously beautiful.

9:00- 9:20: Shower and change

9:20 – 10:00: Prep (which if you remember from my previous posts means homework)

10:00 – 10:45: House Singing Rehearsal (which is this silly competition between Houses here. My violin teachers love to call it “House Shout” because most Houses aren’t exactly very good at singing altogether. Plus, it gets a little rowdy at times when some houses just want to screw around – which is of course, tradition.

10:45 – 11:00: More Prep

Now, I could work longer but I’m kind of really sick so sleeping late probably wouldn’t be such a great idea.

ANYWAY. So. Today.

I just came back from Phantom rehearsals during which we rehearsed act 1 and it’s getting good! The performance is in exactly 11 days time and I am so excited. They’re putting up the sets and chandelier and everything right now. I can’t wait to see what it looks like! But yeah, 11 days only. 11 days and then it’s all gone. I’ve made so many friends during the course of being in this musical. I absolutely loved every single bit of it. Plus, I’m a HUGE Phantom geek. I read fanfictions and everything. Yep. I profess, I’m obsessed. 

But yeah, I’ve made so many friends and I can’t imagine what would have happened if I didn’t get to know those people. Some people say that joining things like orchestra or choir or whatever actually connects you to people and that is something that I find to be utterly true. Just today, I had dinner with my phantom friends and when I walked through the music school Phin said hi to me and yeah I’ve just made so many friends through theatre and music. 

Okay now we come to the title of this entry. Basically as I was walking back to House. I bumped into Sonny, who’s mum was Jackie Tyler in Doctor Who just by the way. You know, no big deal. Especially if you’re a crazy Whovian like me! But yeah, so I bumped into him and he said that he wanted to light a candle at chapel but he couldn’t open the door. So I helped him get in and we lit candles together. I sincerely hope he never finds my blog because he’ll probably think I’m crazy obsessed but I’m not. It was nice that’s all. However, in my excitement to light that candle, I completely forgot to make a wish so now, I’m making one. It still counts. I insist upon it. So here goes. 

There. Done. So, the lighting of the candle is really just symbolic of how you can open so many doors for yourself, make friends, build connections and as cheesy as it sounds, genuinely enrich your life. Being a loner is so overrated. So don’t be one! Get out there and do stuff. Find a friend and light your own candle in chapel and make that wish because there’s so much of the world out there and it’s time you started to really see it and love it.

Until tomorrow,

A.

PS: Catch my song of the day here. It’s Phantom time!

Go Away, Cough.

Am I supposed to be keeping this journal daily? Nah, who am I kidding?

However, I do apologise. I had every intention to write over the weekend but I had to take a train to London right after school and there, I was just having loads of fun shopping and watching Pirates of the Caribbean with Jonathan (my cousin) to write. Sounds bad, I know but it was great fun! I ate so much as well. Basically, right before, I was started to get on a roll with this whole diet thing and I was actually able to skip out lunch on most days and just have breakfast, dinner and two small snacks in between but after that weekend, I’m back to eating quite a lot again! So anonying. I mean, I obviously don’t want to overdo it but I could shed a few kilos. I’m not actually measuring by weight. I’m just going to go by how I look. Just until my thighs get straighter instead of more curvy and my hips lose their fat. Then, I’m done. Pretty good way to lose weight I think. I mean what’s the point of losing weight if you don’t look the way you want to? Lose until you look like what you want to look like right? But don’t get me wrong, it’s going to be a damn hard and long process. I love food.

But yes, I got my politics test and I got…drumroll please….A 6 out of 7!! Given I just got a 6 – literally on the dot, but still. It’s a 6 none the less. I just have to work on those source questions. My actually essay was really good but the source questions let me down a little. Oh well, at least I’m improving! I honestly expected to get a 5, especially since I got a 4 last time! Also, I’m supposed to be doing my mandarin homework right now but man is it boring. My chemistry is even worse though. At least I know how to do the mandarin homework. I just have no idea how to do the chem. I’ll have to ask Hannah later, she’s really good at chemistry. Well, sometimes. Sometimes I’m better but generally she’s better. Great thing about boarding school is that there’s a wealth of people just waiting to be asked for help. Well, maybe they don’t like being asked for help but I really need that chem done. So, things left to do today:

  • Mandarin Comprehension
  • Chem
  • Bio Revision
  • Violin Practice
  • Phantom of the Opera Rehearsal?

I think I might actually have to skip out of the rehearsal. My throat actually hurts from this really bad cough – hence the title of this entry. I’m pretty sure there is something wrong with my throat. Seriously, no one gets coughs as often as I do. I’ve had like what, at least 3 major ones in 4 months. It’s actually ridiculous. There must be so much scarring all along my esophagus. And it’s not just the normal cough either. It starts off as a soar throat for about 4 days, then slowly progresses into a cough that actually hurts my lungs until it reaches the point where phlegm acts up and it hurts to cough just as much. It’s the worst. I should see the doctor. Problem is, the doctors here suck. And the nurse, wow are the nurses here completely useless. Last time I had a cough so bad I swear it lasted at least 3 weeks for me to fully recover and all she did was give me painkillers, lemsip and the occasional ibuprofen and paracetemol, which let me tell you – does nothing. If I broke my arm she’d probably just give me a lemsip and a paracetemol and send me on my way.

Yep. Definitely not going to rehearsal tonight. There’s no way I can sing. It’s actually ridiculous. Okay, I have to finish this work.

Until tomorrow,

A.

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PS: Snow melted 😦 but at least it’s warm!

PPS: I didn’t get into that Oxford thing 😦

PPPS: Check out my song of the day here 🙂

The Turning Point

Today….Today has been incredible.

It really is the turning point. Everything has just gone right today. Where shall I start? Right. Okay, classes. Chemistry. Okay, I may have done science for years but I still am susceptible to messing up my practicals. I was kind of the only one in class who screwed mine up last time but today, I was adamant to get it right and well, it wasn’t perfect but it was pretty good. Also, the sulphur precipitate that we ended up collecting from that experiment really did smell disgusting. Then, was violin class. Now, I’ve haven’t had much time to practice during the past week so during the past few days I’ve been doing extra intense practice and I guess it payed off because my teacher was so pleased she gave me a good TS. 

*TS stands for teacher signature and if you get a good one it kind of results in your housemistress/tutor commending you and getting a Forrero Rocher awarded to you during house meetings – It’s a boarding school thing.

Then came maths. Man, am I back on the roll. I was back to my usual saying the answers before everyone else and as the teacher was figuring them out. Feels really good. I’m just going to have to work hard to kick that previous test completely out of site until my teacher completely forgets about it. It’ll be like those tests where you joke and laugh about it and go “how stupid was I then?” You know? It’s going to be great.

Next, biology. Today was a debate class about cloning (both therapeutic and reproductive) and genetically modified organisms. It was such an amazing debate. The thing is, I love science debates because science keeps advancing and therefore the problems keep changing and the thing is, the answer is never definitive so you can really have a properly good discussion. I mean, it’s just for some debates it’s obvious that one side is definitively going to win simply because their situation is best but in science, that wasn’t the case and I don’t know. I mean, it was just really intellectual, which was amazing. To be honest, the people in my class are pretty damn amazing. They’re just so smart and quick to respond. It’s really great.

Lastly, gym. I actually had a good workout. Burnt more than I have in a long time! And Phantom of the Opera. Oh, Phantom. You take up so much of my time but man is it worth it. It’s really fun and guess what? I get my own moment in it! Basically, the guy playing the conductor is supposed to play the piano except he in real life doesn’t know how so the head of music who is co-directing the play was like “Oh, well Alison can play the piano very well.” And I was like, 😀 So yeah. I get my moment. This is when having a music scholarship and being on great terms with the head of the arts/music comes to good use. 

And now, I have a politics thing to prep for but I can do that during lunch time tomorrow. And, right now, I’m just going to change into my PJs and read some poetry to prep for my English lesson tomorrow. 

Life’s good. And yes, this is a turning point. And like I said yesterday, if I got over that phase of depression I’d bounce back strong and here I am and I’ve done it and it feels good.

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So remember, when you lose the way. Just take a step back and remember, you’ll get through it. 

Until tomorrow,

A.

 

I’m Alright

I’ve suddenly found myself saying that a lot recently. I wonder if I actually mean it though. I mean, I’m getting better. Seriously, my teachers are the best. I went to see my biology teacher today to ask for some help and he said he knew I was working hard and that he would find an hour after school just to help me and I am truly grateful. Chemistry…well, I’ll make sure that I buck up. Chinese too. I will improve me Chinese writing if it’s the last thing I do. I’m definitely feeling better than yesterday but now I’m tired. Man, being depressed is exhausting! Word of advice, don’t do it. It’s a little pointless and just leaves you feeling like crap.

I’ve been asked so far, by Fran, Ian, Mr. Amy (English teacher) and Mr. White (Maths teacher) if I’m alright and honestly, I’m not particularly but who I am to burden other people with my problems right? This one, I’ve just got to figure out on my own because I know that when I get through this I will inevitably be a stronger person and I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m almost there. So maybe the title of this post is a little misleading. The better phrase would, I guess, be “I’ll Be Alright”. 

So yeah, short post today because I have quite a lot of prep (british boarding school language for homework) that I have to finish by tonight. I’ve got Biology, Politics and English!

Until tomorrow,

A.

 

What is Depression?

Yeah, I know I said one post per day but I really have to get this down. Forgive the pun, but I really am not feeling good. I know I know, the previous post was all about motivation and all but seriously I can’t continue if I don’t write this. I’ve never felt like this before and it’s probably the worst feeling in the world. I’m not sure if it’s depression because I’ve never felt it before. Seriously. I used to think that depression was seriously just for idiots who couldn’t just get their act together and get on with life. But maybe I am fighting a bout of it. I’m not sure. All I feel is scared – scared and hopeless. I find it so hard to come to terms with the progress grades that I have just gotten because they don’t reflect me progress at all.

They’re just stupid grades that I got on tests that (although I studied like crazy for them) I just so happen to bomb. It’s definitely not a reflection of my capability. I think the worst is thinking about my parents. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Well of course that’s the problem. This girl’s got crazy Asian parents who don’t understand that sometimes failures happen. Yeah. Well that’s not my problem. My parents will get over these progress grades, but honestly, if I don’t get my shit together I have no idea what I’ll do, honestly. That and you have no idea how disappointed they’ll be. They’ll be beyond disappointed and just thinking about it honestly brings tears to my eyes. It’s just that they want me to succeed to much that just thinking about letting them down..I don’t know.

So, that’s my problem. Goodness knows how I’m going to sleep tonight. Verdict. Am I depressed? Maybe. I still don’t know. I guess it’s at time like these when I resent the fact that I’m at boarding school. I really need my parents. They have no idea just how badly I’ve done. I told them a lie and said that I got good grades when really I didn’t. I can’t stand it knowing that I’ve lied to them and just waiting for them to find out the inevitable when reports go out. I’m honestly not sure if I’m fit to go to school tomorrow. Hahaha sounds like I’ve just gotten out of rehab. But honestly, I’m not ready to face classes. But then again, I am so afraid that I’ll miss something important in class.

I swear, this blog was never meant to be so depressing but I guess what with recent events I need to write it down somewhere. Yeah, I know, that’s what a secret diary is for or something, but I’ve got a blog and I thought hey, nobody’s probably going to read it anyway. Or, maybe if someone does they’ll realise that other people are going through the same thing they are and feel better. I don’t know. But I kind of like posting my problems. It’s like my own self therapy. I guess I’d find it a bit weird if people started “liking” my posts about feeling hopeless and sad though.

Okay. I actually have to get back to my politics revision. Yep, test on Friday. Whatever it is, I will not screw this one up.

Until tomorrow,

A.

(PS: Although you see this post the day after the previous one, I did in fact write this at 11:30 ish at night that same day and there was no internet so I just wrote it so I could post it the next day.)